Bluffing?

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.

The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"

The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."



"A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life."
~Charles Darwin

"Art depends on luck and talent."
~Francis Ford Coppola

"Television is a medium because anything well done is rare."
~Fred Allen

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Is he a Zombie?

Two young boys were taking a short cut through the cemetary on a very foggy night. They were naturaly very frightened.

All of a sudden they heard this chipping noise, and as scared as they were, thier curiosity got the better of them. They came upon an old man chipping at a tombstone.

When they asked what he was doing, he said, "They spelled my stinkin' name wrong!"



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

It happens to all of us sooner or later - we click Delete (or press Format) and suddenly realize that we just killed the wrong file! Oh, that is a sick feeling, isn't it? Truth is, if you're using a computer, digital camera, flash drive, or any kind of device that stores data you WILL eventually delete an important file! We get e-mails constantly from people asking how to get back irreplaceable photos, critical documents, tax records, music etc - it ain't no fun losing important data!

Hey, only two kinds of people in this world - those that have lost critical files and those that WILL!

What do you do when disaster strikes? You know, when you realize you just accidently formatted a memory card and lost all the photos from your once-in-a-lifetime vacation. Or maybe you just accidently deleted an important document you've spent days working on. Perhaps your hard drive is starting to fail and you've just lost access to your data (been there, done that). Maybe all your music was on your MP3 player and now it seems to be gone.

What do you do now?

Does the sweat start to bead up on your forehead? Does your face turn red? Does your pulse quicken and your breathing get shallow? Do you feel that gut twisting panic start to sweep over you?

Relax!

If you have Search & Recover 5 on your computer all is not lost - not even close! THIS is the go-to software for when you need to get data BACK from the digital darkness! This phenomenal software can recover your data - even when it seems hopelessly lost forever in the abyss! PLUS we just got an absolutely amazing deal on the current version that you'd better be sitting down for! WOW - we're gonna save you some serious money today!

First of all, Search & Recover makes getting back deleted files as simple as a few mouse clicks! Really! Once you try it, you'll be completely blown away!! It wasn't that long ago that the only people who had access to this kind of data recovery technology were high-tech pros in white lab coats - and let me tell ya - you could easily shell out HUNDREDS to get files back the way this software does!

This has several really amazing options for recovery too! Unlike some programs, this lets you select the category of files you're looking for! Have it search for deleted photos and movies, have it look for songs & sounds, have it look for emails - or have it look for ANY kind of deleted file! No matter what you need to find, this makes it quick and easy to recover!

Oh, and get this - it even has this powerhouse option called "Total Recovery" that finds all the deleted files in an area (like a folder or drive) recovers them all at once for you! Outstanding! So, even if you have a DISASTER (like an accidental formatting of a data drive / memory card / flash drive or you delete a critical folder), THIS can get it back for you! Talk about a lifesaver!

Plus, using it is oh-so-simple - we're talkin' point & click here! Really! Just tell it what you're looking for, sit back and relax! It will scan your drive and give you a complete report of everything it finds! From there, just click the files you want to recover! 

You read that right - if you can use a mouse, you can use this incredible software!

Talk about SUPERCHARGED SOFTWARE too! This can even recover data on a drive that was formatted - now THAT'S impressive! We're talking pretty much anything too - internal hard drives, external hard drives, flash drives, and even memory cards! It can recover 'em all!

Oh, and this is FANTASTIC NEWS for anyone with a digital camera! If you've ever accidently formatted a memory card that had pictures on it you wanted, you know how much that hurts! Now, just pop your memory card into your camera (or card reader), hook up to your computer and run this software! It will recover your priceless photos in no time! WOW!

OK, I know what you're thinking (didn't know I was a mind reader, did ya)! Let me guess - "OK, that's all well and good, but I'm going to wait and buy this after I have a problem."

I completely understand - but keep this in mind. Once a file has been deleted on your computer, it's only a matter of time before it gets permanently overwritten by something else, and when that happens, it can never be recovered! 

That's why you MUST have this software standing by, ready to go at a moments notice! Wait too long, and nothing can help!

PLUS - That's not all! Recovery is great, but even better would be to have a backup! I mean, think about it - what would happen if right now, as you were reading this, your hard drive completely died? Do you have a current backup? You should - we've seen it happen again and again - people get so complacent thinking that everything is going to be fine in their computer forever. Then, in the blink of an eye, disaster strikes and all their data is gone! Years of photos - gone! Entire music libraries - vaporized! All your documents, files, programs - wiped out! Just think - what would you lose if your computer died right now?

Well, this comes to the rescue (again)! This is the absolute BEST way to back up your computer! EVER! This can create an exact copy ("image" in geek-speak) of your hard drive! And, keepin' with the theme - it's super simple!

Here's how it works - you launch the wizard, follow the prompts, and create an image of your hard drive - you'll be amazed at how easy it really is - and you'll wonder why you haven't been backing up all along! Then, if disaster strikes, you can run a wizard and restore your computer back to EXACTLY the way it was when you created the image! Every file, every folder, even every program - just the way you left them! Now THAT'S the way to recover! Usually you can be back up and running in an hour! AMAZING!

My Personal Little Horror Story -

A couple years back I was testing some software on my computer. I did the install, rebooted, and the computer was totally useless. It wouldn't boot, Windows was totally corrupted - it looked like a real disaster. Can you imagine how much work it was to get that going again? 

Surprise! I was back up and running in about 45 minutes! Luckily, I had made an image of the drive and I simply restored that image! All my data, programs, etc were ready to go and in less than an hour I was back at the computer like nothing had happened!Everything was EXACTLY the way it was when I made the image!

Having an image is SOOOOOOO much easier then trying to reinstall windows, spending a day getting up to date with your patches, installing all your programs (and trying to find all the serial numbers), and getting all your data back on your computer (assuming there was any left). Why risk lost data, hours of work, and lost of frustration when you can make an image?In an hour you could be back up and running like nothing ever happened!

Disk Imaging software is normally expensive too - we're talking $80 or so - and one of the bestimaging programs I've run across is actually included with this program! Even if you don't think you're gonna need the recovery software, the disk image software included with this makes it a must-have!

As if all the above weren't enough, this also has what it calls a File Terminator! This part of the software can take sensitive files and delete them permanently and forever - nothing can recover them! This is fantastic if you have sensitive information on your computer that you just don't want anyone else to ever had access to!

Important financial documents, bank statement, loan info, stock records - I'm sure you can think of a few files on your computer right now that you wouldn't want strangers to have access to! Well, when you're done with them, this can make 'em disappear - forever!

Just enable the feature in Search & Recover and it will add a Terminator item to your right-click menu! Just right-click any item you want gone forever, and hit Terminate! It's that easy! 

Your price for all of this? Well, first - let's look at what it's worth! File recovery program, hmm - $40. Imaging program - $40. File Shredder program - $30. Your total cost SHOULD be $110 - but it's NOT!!

Your price? Ready? Just $14.97 and US shipping is FREE! This is the current version you pay $40 in the stores for! Really! We made a special deal with the publisher for you because we were so impressed with it! Just wait till you try it - it's the one program no computer user should be without!

http://store.worldstart.com/product.php?productid=5178

PS - This special price is only for a limited number of units. Once we surpass our allocation, the price will increase to $39.97, so make sure you get to the site ASAP!

Bad Luck

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he came to senses, he motioned for her to come near him. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" She asks gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."



"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost."
~ J. R. R. Tolkien

"A wanderer is man from his birth. / He was born in a ship / On the breast of the river of Time."
~ Matthew Arnold

"The secret of being boring is to tell everything."
~ Voltaire

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Interested or Scared?

A minister in Florida lamented that it was difficult to get his message across to his congregation: "It's so beautiful here in the winter," he said, "that heaven doesn't interest them."

"And it's so hot here in the summer that hell doesn't scare them."



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

National Geographic Shows You How!

Amazing Software Takes The Mystery Out Of Digital Photography!

All Your Questions Answered!

Friends And Family Will Think You're A Pro!

Sheep for Sale

I called the local newspaper's classified section to complain about an ad I'd placed. It was obvious the person who took my information had never spent any time on a farm.

"I said 'ewes,'" I argued.

"Pardon?" replied the operator.

"Ewes. It makes a difference to some people."

The ad had read, "Sheep for sale: Used."



"All things are difficult before they are easy."
~Dr. Thomas Fuller

"I look to the future, because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life."
~George Burns

"If you want to know what a man is really like, take notice how he acts when he loses money."
~New England proverb

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Cheating the System

Recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my brother was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.

"If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be much lower."

My brother smiled and said, "Dad, that would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts."



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

It's A Supercharger For Your Computer!

Fix, Optimize, And Crank Up Your Windows Registry - Automatically!
(Amazing - It Found Over 3000 Registry Errors On My Computer - And Fixed 'Em In Less Than A Minute!)

Fixes Weird Errors, Sluggish Systems, Random Lockups And MORE!

Knock Out System Hoggin' Start-Up Programs And Watch Your Computer FLY!!

Clean Out The JUNK And Get TONS Of Hard Drive Space Back!

In Less Than 30 Minutes, Your Computer Can Be Wicked Fast

Maybe Even Better Than New! 

WOW - Now THAT'S An Optimizer!!

Bigger Baby

Our first three babies, all girls, each weighed about seven pounds at birth. When our fourth arrived, he was much larger.

After delivery, the medical team began testing and measuring my new son. The last reading came from a nurse, who seemed impressed as she read, "Weight: nine pounds, eight ounces."

My husband, a CPA in corporate finance, who'd been quiet up to this point, couldn't contain himself any longer. "How about that!" he exclaimed happily. "It's 36 percent more baby!"



There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.
--Mother Teresa

We all get report cards in many different ways, but the real excitement of what you're doing is in the doing of it. It's not what you're going to get in the end. It's not the final curtain. It's really in the doing it and loving what you're doing.
--Ralph Lauren

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars or sailed to an unchartered land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.
--Helen Keller

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Kidney Stones

Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining about severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were performed to determine the source of the pain.

My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone.

I turned to my husband and asked, "Would you like me to call the funeral home now?"

With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and snapped, "Honey, he's not that sick!"



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

WhooHoo!!

We're Cleaning Out Our Warehouse & You're Reaping All The Benefits!!!

WOW - 52 Amazing Items Are 15% OFF - Today Only (11-16-09)!!!

Quantities Are Limited!!!

Hurry To Our Store Before Everything Is SOLD OUT!!!

Yep, we're having a garage sale and cleaning out our warehouse to make room for all of the cool stuff we've got coming in for the holidays!!! What does that mean for you??? You get 15% off ANYTHING that is the "Garage Sale" section of our store!! The items in section are items that we have overstock of - so some products only have a few in stock! Yikes - you'll want RUN to our store Garage Sale and grab what you want - before it's gone!!!

We've got a total of 52 Garage Sale items on sale - today ONLY (11-16-09)!!! Just to give you a small sample of what we're almost givin' away - We have 75 Watt DC to AC Pwer Inverters, laptop goodies, lights of all sorts, alarm clocks, radios, cell phone gadgets, headphones, lots of great cables, tools, pet accessories, and great software - TONS and TONS of amazing software titles priced so jaw droppin' low you'd better be sitting when you get there! And that's just to name a few things!!! Click below to start saving on these amazing deals:

http://store.worldstart.com/home.php?cat=214

Just a reminder that the discount is ONLY for items only in the Garage Sale section of our store Today ONLY today (11-16-09) ~ so get to the Garage Sale right away (sorry, no exceptions)!

Here's the coupon code you'll need to type in the "coupon" box when you add the first item to your cart or at checkout:

garage15

Here's the Garage Sale section of our store:

WorldStart Software Store (Garage Sale)- Check It Out!

Remember, this is just for today (I promise you won't see this 15% off Garage Sale again any time soon), so make sure you run to the site and get yourself some deals! 52 Items- you know you'll find some incredible stuff!

Grocery Shopping

Coming out of the supermarket the other day, I saw a scary sight. As a woman loaded groceries into her trunk, her shopping cart began to roll away.

The scary part? It was heading straight for my car.

She ran after it, but was too late. The cart slammed into my driver's side door.

"How bad's the damage"? I called out, running toward her.

"Bad," she said, gathering her groceries. "I broke at least a dozen eggs."



"A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away."
Barry Goldwater

"A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into."
Ansel Adams

"I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order."
John Burroughs

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Need a Pen?

A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her bill.

She began rummaging through her purse, as so many patients did when they had a check to write.

"Do you need a pen"? I asked, offering her the use of mine.

"Yes, thank you," she replied. She took it, put it in her handbag and proceeded to pay in cash.



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

Play Dress Up

You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?" asked the judge.

"Yes," answered the suspect.

"And what did you steal?"

"A dress, Your Honor," replied the subject.

"One dress?" echoed the judge. "But you admit breaking in four times!"

"Yes, Your Honor," sighed the suspect. "But three times my wife didn't like the color."



"Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender."
~ Mary Lorraine Buckley

"Put even the plainest woman into a beautiful dress and unconsciously she will try to live up to it."
~ Lady Duff-Gordon

"To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends."
~ Benjamin Franklin

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Old Fashioned Love

One day at a family reunion, the grandparents were reminiscing.

The grandfather remarked, "I wonder what ever happened to the old-fashioned girls who fainted when a man kissed them."

The Grandmother gave him a withering look, "What I'd like to know," she said, "is what happened to the old-fashioned men who made them faint!"



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

Special Note -  We just got another shipment of these in from our supplier. Everytime we get a shipment in they usually sell out in a day or two...get yours while we have 'em in stock!! PLUS this is the current version that sells for $50 all day long, but we have our lowest price ever on it - just $9.97!! Really! Don't get stuck paying $50 for it later!!

WOW! I can't wait to share this one with ya! We just scored an amazing deal on my new favorite software - Iolo System Shield! Let me tell ya, this is NOT your run-of-the-mill Internet Security Suite! This does an amazing job of keeping your computer safe from hackers, spyware, and viruses - but read on, because the way this is implemented is far superior to ANY software like this I've used in the past! This really isn't your typical security suite - and you're gonna love it!  I am personally running this software on my computer and it's by far the best I've used! I can't tell you how impressed I am with this - if you value your safety - and system performance, you've got to check this out!



OK, first off, I know you're probably already running anti-virus, anti-spyware, and a firewall - so why do you want this? Well, the thing that impresses me the most with this software suite is the absolute speed it brings to the table! Not just in scanning and such, but the very real lack of system hogging it does. Most suites like this are horrible - they really slow your system to a crawl - not this one! I uninstalled all my previous security software and tired this instead - WHAT A DIFFERENCE!!! Frankly, there's a good chance that if you're currently using Norton, Mcafee, ect, when you replace them with this you're going to think you got a new computer! The difference is THAT dramatic! This speed-up alone is enough reason to switch if you ask me!

Next, I absolutely LOVE how this just runs in the background and stays out of the way. So many security programs love to tell you that they are updating your system, getting new virus definitions, scanning, whatever. It's an all day long affair of acknowledging boxes and virtually patting your software on the back, "Good boy - I'm glad you downloaded some updates!" Well, those annoyances are GONE with this - it just works in the background and updates itself when necessary without dozens of boxes telling you all about it - that alone was enough to make me switch! Of course, if it finds something serious, it'll let you know (all customizable too).



Oh, and let me tell you about the anti-virus - you're gonna love this! First, yes it keeps you safe from e-mail viruses, downloads, and monitors in the background - just like everyone's AV does. However, it's the little things that make you fall in love with this! First, don't you just HATE it when you're working on your computer and the stupid AV software comes up and starts a scan? Slows everything down - what a pain! This software will actually make sure the PC has been idle for a specified amount of time before it scans! It waits till you're away before it starts - is that cool or what??? Oh, and it pauses the scan if the PC starts getting used again! Again, this reason alone is enough to change! In fact, my wife read that and said, "Hey - I want this on my computer! My AV always starts scanning when I'm working!" So, one of my 3 installs is going there!

In addition, the anti-virus can be set to scan all files or just dangerous ones (saving time), can be set to scan all kinds of files, has HOURLY updates, can be set to scan when YOU want, and can even be set to exclude certain types of files if you want! Even scan incoming AND outgoing messages if you want - all fully customizable! Oh, and did I mention that it has a year of UNLIMITED tech support too in case you have trouble?WOW!!

Think that's great? Wait till you see the firewall! Blows Windows firewall away (along with every other firewall as far as I'm concerned)! First off, yes, it keeps hackers out - all firewalls do. But this also protects you in other ways. It can monitor when a program is trying to access the internet and send all your personal info to the mothership. That, to me, is HUGE! You never know if that program you just installed is completely trustworthy - so this keeps you safe!



Another fantastic idea that I'm really excited about is the "Idle Lock" - Get this - you can set it so that if you're not using the computer for a specified amount of time (set by you) that the network locks down - nothing can come in or out! I've always said the most secure internet connection is the one that's unplugged when not in use - and this does that!! Oh, and you can also lock your computer down with the press of a mouse if you like - right from the main page!

This can also show you how many attacks it has blocked, block the attacker's IP address for a specified (by you) amount of time, and has a lot of fully customizable options. Truth is though, that the default settings work fine for me! Oh, and again, this seems like it doesn't slow anything down at all - in fact, if you're using a different firewall, this will probably speed things up! I know one thing for sure, I'm installing this on my laptop for travel - it's just too dangerous to surf using wireless networks without it!

Finally, this also includes a fantastic anti-spyware program! Just like the rest of it, it's really fast, stays out of the way, and just does the job! It automatically updates and scanning is a breeze - and fast too! I don't think I've ever seen a spyware can that was soooo fast - and it did a great job! Found a few minor things that it easily fixed!

OK, that's the main stuff, but I also wanted to mention how much easier to use this is than most other security software. First off, I think 90% of the users out there can just install it and forget it - the default settings are really a nice balance and should work well for just about every computer out there. If you want to change stuff, it's really easy to do and the program has an excellent help file that, quite frankly, most users will never ever need!

The price? You're not going to believe this one - we're talking just $9.97 and US shipping is FREE! This is the current version and retails for $49.95 (check Iolo's site - it's not cheap), so $9.97 is an amazing deal!! 1 Year worth of support and updates too! Oh, works on XP, Vista, & Win 2000!

Oh, and get this - it's a 3 user license!! So you can install this on up to 3 different computers! That's way less than $4.00 per computer! Grab a friend or two and have them chip in! For less than $4.00 per computer, you just can't go wrong! It's amazing and it's what I am going to be running from now on!

http://store.worldstart.com/product.php?productid=4583

PS - Seriously, this is simply the best Anti-virus, Anti-Spyware, and Firewall software I've ever used and it's going to be on my machine from now on. My computer is soooo much faster now after getting rid of the other bloated software package I had been using - and this just has soooo many great options! Don't miss out!

Insert Rimshot Here

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

Swine flu requires "oinkment" and bird flu needs "tweetment"!

...groan...



"Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done."
~Louis D. Brandeis

"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."
~Robert Orben

"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever."
~Jacques Yves Cousteau

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Ewww!

One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son.

Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby wouldn't stop crying.

Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor.

After the doctor listened to the father all that he had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area.

When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full.

"Here's the problem", the Dr. said, "He needs a change."

The father was very perplexed, "But the diaper package says it is good for up to 10 lbs.!"



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

Guess What's Back?!?!

Yep, we just got some more DriveClone Pro's from our supplier!! There's no telling how long we're going to be able to get these for, so you'll want to be sure to grab yours today - before it's too late!!

Your Computer Just Crashed, Now What? - Hi, Steve here. I know we sell a lot of great software, but we just came across what has to be the best yet. It's called DriveClone and we are really excited that we can share this with you (info below). I just want to say that I can't recommend this software highly enough. It's absolutely the best software of its kind and having a backup like this has personally saved me - and frankly this business - on more than one occasion. Like it says below, if you only buy ONE program for your computer this year, make it this one. I promise you, it's the best money you'll ever spend on your PC. ~Steve

"If You Only Buy One Program This Year, Make It This One!"

The ONE Program EVERY PC User Absolutely MUST Have!!

Your Computer WILL Eventually Crash - And Without This...

You WILL Lose Everything!!

Easily Back Up & Restore Your Entire System - Just A Few Clicks!!

Tons Of Options - Easiest, Best Backup You've Ever Seen!!

WOW - Use On Up To 3 PCs!!

When Disaster Strikes, You'll Be Back Up And Running FAST!!

"31% of PC users have lost all of their files due to events beyond their control."

- Finalasp, Sept 24, 2009

Good Idea, Honey!

A retired couple were discussing aspects of their furture. "What will you do if I die before you do?" the husband asked his bride.

After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age. Then she asked him, "What will you do if I die first?"

He replied,"Probably the same thing."



"Only the mediocre are always at their best."
~Jean Giraudoux

"Most art is fragile and some should be placed and never moved away."
~Donald Judd

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap."
~Bob Hope

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Homesick

The hotel guest called room service, "I want a breakfast of two eggs burned black around the edges, undercooked bacon, weak coffee, watery orange juice, and cold, hard, unbuttered toast."

The room service clerk asked, "Why in the world would you want a terrible breakfast like that?"

"I'm homesick."



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

Reader Joke

A New York executive had been commuting for years. As the price of gas kept creeping up and the push for "planet green" was on, he found a carpool to participate in. Everything was fine in the carpool except when they were in the Lincoln Tunnel he would become terrified. This went on and on and got progressively worse.

He felt he had to do something so he saw a Psychologist who after listening to the story told him what he had was very common..."What you have is carpool tunnel syndrome..."



"You know more than you think you do."
~Benjamin Spock

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."
~John W. Gardner

"I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so."
~Stephen Leacock

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Ol' Zeke

In the mountain backwoods you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Ol' Zeke decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He took it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, got ready to take flight. He took off running and reached the edge—into the wind he went!

Meanwhile, Maw & Paw Abner were sittin' on the porch swing, talkin 'bout the good ol' days, when maw spotted the biggest bird she had ever seen.

"Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaimed.

Paw stood up, "Git my gun, Maw."

Maw ran into the house and brought out his pump action shotgun. He took careful aim. BANG...BANG...BANG...BANG! The monster-size bird continued to sail silently over the tree tops.

"I think ya missed him, Paw," she said.

"Yeah," he replied, "but at least he let go of ol' Zeke!"



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

New Pants, Stewardess!!

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax—OH MY...!"

Then silence.

Soon, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of very hot coffee and she spilled it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"



"When you blame others, you give up your power to change."
~Robert Anthony

"Every good painter paints what he is."
~Jackson Pollock

"The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them."
~Bill Vaughan

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Catch Those Cars!

Linda was driving her old beat up car on the Highway with her 7 year old son. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her.

After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind.

Linda looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. She waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"

Her son piped up from the back seat, "I do... because you couldn't catch the other cars!"



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

We Deliver!

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.

"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said.
"I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?"

"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife."

"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "I forgot to tell you - we also deliver."



"We must make the best of those ills which cannot be avoided."
~Clarence Day

"Music is an art form. It is a way to wordlessly communicate."
~Ken Hill

"All really great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction."
~Marya Mannes

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



My Name is "Quits"

When Brandon's mother found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But Little Brandon overheard some of his parents' private conversations.

One day, when Brandon and his mother were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.

"Yes!" Brandon answered, "and I know what we're gonna name it, too. If it's a girl, we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!"



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

Thank you to the 100's of you who ordered yesterday!!! If you haven't ordered yours - OR - if you want to upgrade to the latest version of System Mechanic...NOW IS YOUR CHANCE!!! This version retails for $60's - and we got it today at a super low price!! Quantities are limited...so you'll want to run to our site and grab yours before they're gone!! - Steve

You'll Never Put Up With A Slow PC Again!!

Transform Your PC In Minutes!!

Go From Slow & Sluggish To Blazing Fast "WOW!!"

"It's A Super-Charged Caffeine Boost For Your PC!"

Amazing New Software Cranks Up Your Speed Big Time!

We're Talkin' Up To 300% FASTER!!!!! WOW!

Faster Load Times! Faster Program Performance! Faster Internet!

PLUS....

Customize, Repair, Secure, And Clean Out Too!

• Have a weird error message? 
• Strange lockups? 
• Unbootable computer? 
• Random crashes? 

Piñata!

Glenn and Scott are bungee-jumping one day when Glenn has a brainstorm, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Southern California."

Scott agrees that it would be a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel south and set up in a vacant lot. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.

When everything is ready Glenn gives it a test jump. When he bounces at the end of the cord and comes back up, Scott notices that Glenn has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the Scott isn't able catch him, so Glenn falls again, bounces, and then comes back up.

This time, Glenn is bruised and bleeding. Again, Scott misses him. Glenn goes down again and this time, he comes back pretty messed up—he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.

On the next attempt, Scott finally catches him and pulls him in. "What happened?" he asks. "Was the cord too long?"

Glenn cathes his breath and replies, "No, the cord was fine, but tell me... what the heck is a piñata?"

"The future has a way of arriving unannounced."
~George Will

"Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy."
~Ludwig van Beethoven

"What the world really needs is more love and less paper work."
~Pearl Bailey

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Mission to Mars

NASA interviewed potential astronauts for a trip to Mars. Only one person could go and, since there couldn't be enough fuel for a return trip, it would be one-way only.

The first applicant was an engineer. "How much would you expect to get paid for this trip?" the interviewer asked.

The engineer immediately answered, "One million dollars. And I'll donate it all to my alma mater: Rice University."

The next applicant was a doctor. Once again, "How much would you expect to get paid for this trip?"

The doctor answered, "Two million dollars; a million for my family and the other million for medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. And finally, "How much would you expect to get paid for this trip?"

He immediately whispered, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer curiously inquired.

The lawyer eagerly replied, "I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send that engineer!"



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

You'll Never Put Up With A Slow PC Again!!

Transform Your PC In Minutes!!

Go From Slow & Sluggish To Blazing Fast "WOW!!"

"It's A Super-Charged Caffeine Boost For Your PC!"

Amazing New Software Cranks Up Your Speed Big Time!

We're Talkin' Up To 300% FASTER!!!!! WOW!

Faster Load Times! Faster Program Performance! Faster Internet!

PLUS....

Customize, Repair, Secure, And Clean Out Too!

Now That's A Bad Joke!

A couple decide to go for a meal on their anniversary and after some deliberation decide on their local Chinese restaurant.

They peruse the menu and finally agree to share the chef's special, "Chicken Surprise."

The waiter brings over the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to start in on the meal, the lid of the pot rises a tiny amount and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.

He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two beady little eyes looking around again before it firmly slams back down.

Rather perturbed he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening and demands an explanation.

"Well sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"

"We both chose the same," he replies, "the Chicken Surprise."

"Oh I do apologize, this is my fault," says the waiter...

"I've brought you the Peking Duck."



"Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten."
~B. F. Skinner

"Any good music must be an innovation."
~Les Baxter

"Nothing is more beautiful than the loveliness of the woods before sunrise."
~George Washington Carver

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Explain It To Mother

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach.

"Now go over there and explain it to your mother."



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow

To show our appreciation to all of our great customers (that means YOU), we're extending our Halloween Blowout for just one more day - that means AN ADDITIONAL DAY off 13% Off ANYTHING in our store!!! Why the number 13 you ask? That just because it's the scariest number - EVER!!! I know you're just shakin' in your boots just thinking about the number 13!! Try to calm yourself...at least enough to check out the newsletter!!!

Plus, you know we already have some just KILLER deals - well, now's your chance to make 'em even better! We have around 1500 items in our store right now! You just KNOW there's something there you gotta have! Well, with this offer, there's never been a better time! Use the coupon code shown below and you'll be able to get a super scary 13% off of EVERY item in our online store - software OR hardware!

This discount is ONLY good today (11-03-2009) ~ so get to the site right away (sorry, no exceptions)!
Here's the coupon code you'll need to type in the "coupon" box when you add the first item to your cart or at checkout:

131313

Add an item to your cart and scroll down - you'll see where to enter this code. YOU MUST enter the code above to get your discount!!

No minimum order and everything has a 60 day satisfaction guarantee, toll free help, and regular US shipping is FREE!! You can't beat that! - Head to the store right now!!

Is Rolf There?

Jamie asked his dad to explain the difference between irritation, aggravation, and frustration.

His father picked up the phone and dialed a number at random. When the phone was answered, he asked, "Can I speak to Rolf, please?"

"No! There's no one named Rolf here," replies the person who answered the phone.

The father hung up. "That, my boy, is irritation."

He picked up the phone again, dialed the same number, then asked for Rolf a second time. "No, there's no one here called Rolf. Go away. If you call again I'm calling the cops," the person said.

The father hung up and said, "That's aggravation."

"Then what's frustration?" asked Jamie. The father picked up the phone and dialed the same number a third time.

"Hello, this is Rolf. Have I received any phone calls?"



"A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one."
~ Mary Kay Ash

"An idea ran back and forward in his head like a blind man, knocking over the solid furniture."
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

"Colourless green ideas sleep furiously."
~Noam Chomsky

Cartoon used with permission

We always want your ORIGINAL stories-keep sending them. They can be about kids, yourself, your pets, or anything else that's embarrassing, funny, or just plain weird! Please submit at this link... http://www.worldstart.com/contact/general/reader-story.php



Youth Tablets

The police recently busted a man selling tablets he said gave eternal youth.

When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928.



November Wallpaper

Here's this month's free calendar wallpaper! As always, it's 100% free, so head on over and grab one!

	Hummingbird (Photo contest winner) Hummingbird eating nectar from a flower.
	Undine Falls
	Smoky Mountain Rainbow